How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely

GOALS AS A NOVELIST:

1. FAME--Realistic amount. Enough to open new avenues of sexual opportunity. Personal assistant to read my mail, grocery shop, and so on.
2. FINANCIAL COMFORT--Never have a job again. Retire. Spend rest of life lying around, pursuing hobbies (boating? skeet shooting?).
3. STATELY HOME BY OCEAN (OR SCENIC LAKE)--Spacious library, bay windows, wet bar. HD TV, discreetly placed. Comfortable couch.
4. HUMILIATE POLLY AT HER WEDDING.

-How I Became a Famous Novelist

As always, I have a formidable stack of unread books sitting on my shelf--a bit of an obligation, but mostly a comfort, since not having a book to read is a none-too-secret terror of mine. Thus I had no reason to pick up How I Became a Famous Novelist at St. Vincent de Paul a few months back, except I thought that I would regret it if I didn't.

How I Became a Famous Novelist is the story of Pete Tarslaw, a twenty-something living in Boston and working as a professional polisher of school admission essays. He's--and I don't think there's a way to put this nicely--a loser. When he gets an invitation to his ex-girlfriend's wedding, though, it spurs him to action. Not for any particularly selfless reason: he just wants to win the breakup.

He hits upon his plan of action while watching a soft news piece on folksy novelist Preston Brooks. He quickly sizes up the man, who never met a platitude he didn't like, as a con artist--and decides there's no reason that he can't write a book like that. No point in trying to make it good, mind. He creates a list of what elements he would need to include to make his story popular, and dreams of the fame and fortune to follow.

To his credit, he does write a book. A terrible book, from all the evidence provided, but nonetheless a book with a beginning, middle, and end. (As a NaNoWriMo participant, I realize just that is an accomplishment). How I Became a Famous Novelist then charts Pete's new career, with its highs and--more often--its lows. It's a funny ride, particularly when author Steve Hely pokes fun at the modern book scene. (His imagined titles and plots for New York Times bestsellers were amusingly believable.) While Pete himself is not particularly likeable, he's self-aware enough that the reader doesn't tire of his company, and I found the book overall to be pretty enjoyable.

Up next: The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making by Catherynne M. Valente. (Whew, that's a mouthful.)